February 2016 – Mom Shorts

I am not a baker. I’ve historically made delicious cupcakes, always with the help of my good friend, Betty Crocker. As my daughter got older she wanted to help in the kitchen and this included showing an interest in baking. At first, I just bought mixes and we would add water, maybe an egg and/or apple sauce. But I realized I was going to need to move beyond mixes, when one day my daughter was helping with dinner and commented that I likely just needed to add water to make it be delicious.
My newness to baking, and a fear of undercooking food recently lead to a slightly dry banana bread. If you know me well, you’d know that I don’t always know when to fold ’em, walk away or run. Although it was far from amazing, I knew in my heart that I would likely end up eating the majority of the banana bread out of some stubborn loyalty to the effort my daughter and I put into baking. So there I was, me and the less than amazing in yum factor but high on effort and love banana bread.
It was then I realized, that I could double down. So I did what any home cook, who sometimes pretends to be on Chopped, would do. Using some other ingredients including a soon to be stale bread. I decided to make a French Toast Banana Bread Casserole. In the end, the results were AMAZING! That’s right, my sad banana bread went from should be trash to a treasure. As a bonus, my daughter helped to make the casserole and loved being such a great helper. She also loved eating it.
Truth is it was so good, we ended up devouring it before snapping a pic. So in the end, with a bit of creativity I was able to take the bad cards I’d dealt myself, and turn them into aces.

(The photo that I do have was taken prior to being cooked and also prior to me adding brown sugar, maple syrup, butter toping which is really the key to this dish – what wouldn’t go well with that on top).

Banana Bread French Toast Casserole prior to being cooked and prior to me adding a brown sugar, maple syrup, butter toping.

For My Daughters

Although I wish it were not true, believe me when I say that almost every woman I know has found themselves backed into a corner.
Maybe it’s by the boy you think you could marry,
by the girl you have had a crush on for years,
by a friend of a friend, or stranger from the bar,
It may be the first date or the fifteenth.
Sometimes, ‘no’ will come out of your mouth and somehow seem to vanish.
As if unheard, as if unspoken. Other times, ‘no’ will seem impossible.
That does not mean you need to grab its binary opposition. Never say yes,
because you don’t quite want to say no.
It might be, ” Why don’t we just try? Your lips are saying yes….I know you want it – and maybe you do, but not like this, or not right now. Not everybody who is trying to get something from you will seem sinister.
And maybe when they speak you will still be able to see the glimmer in their eye that made you swoon in the first place. Maybe when they speak a part of you will still swoon to the sound of their voice.

In Karate they teach that if you are being strangled the first thing to do, is to put your chin down and to the side. The idea being, with this extra second that you can get a breath. With the ability to breathe you can find the strength to elbow, kick and bite your attacker and hopefully break away.

Metaphoric corners are far more common than literal ones. In these instances your words, will be your power. You may need more than one tactic but keep trying – you are worth the effort.
Sometimes shutting it down forever will be easy as; it’s not you it’s me, I’m not over my ex, or I think I am going to have diarrhea.
Other times confidence will overflow; it will be easy enough to say ‘I want things slow.’
But there will be times, when you may seem stuck, where you can’t see all your options, where everything suddenly fades to black,
where you can’t quite find the words,
when neither yes nor no seems quite right.

In these moments feel free to throw me under the bus.
Say, ’my mom is a bitch who will ground me for a month if I don’t get home – right now’
Say you have your period. Camps. A deadline that slipped your mind. Say you have a cold. Say you are taking medication and just got sleepy. Say you are nauseated, maybe ate a bad lunch.
If none of those seem right, say you have to go to the bathroom. Get an extra breath. Call me any time.
Please, say something because not wanting to say no should not be your silence. Silence should not be your permission. Do not let silence swallow you.
When you are backed into a corner you, know you are in the company of millions of women.
Though you may feel isolated, know you are not alone.
You are going to get out of this.
Take a breath, find your strength and break away.

Month: February 2016

You’ve got to know when to hold ’em

For My Daughters